


Muscle Memory

by metropoliszone



Category: Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: Flirting, M/M, descriptions of cheating, descriptions of prostitution
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-02
Updated: 2017-03-05
Packaged: 2018-09-27 22:07:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10053506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/metropoliszone/pseuds/metropoliszone
Summary: Niles makes a mistake. And he wonders if he's ever going to forgive himself for this.Originally Titled: Love In The Dark





	1. Sail On

**Author's Note:**

> So the idea was floating around my head to write this. I don't know if I'll add more, or flesh it out right now, but if there's enough interest in it, I definitely will take a look at it.
> 
> Thanks for reading!

For Niles, it felt like a constant in his life.

People entered, people left. He would get to know them, and potentially grow feelings for them, but they would soon leave in one way or another. Death, growing tired of just _Niles_ in general, or finding someone else. Someone who wasn’t the outlaw, someone who was better. And because Niles was absolutely no one, they felt no shame in directly telling him to his face. He never knew what he had done wrong.

He toned himself down.

He devoted himself.

He loved them, and said so.

But someone better. Someone richer. A better status, a better home, the ability to take care of them. Things Niles would never be able to provide. He provided shame. Shame on his lovers. Nothing but trouble and bad luck.

So, he defended himself over the years. From someone who would look and hope for love, for one who completed prevented it from happening. One night stands, refusing to remember people’s names. Looking for people who he could never be close to.

He’s sure he destroyed families along his path. After all, noble men were the most in need of some cheap comfort, and if they were willing to pay for it, all the better. Robbing from the rich to take care of himself. 

And now he wonders if he would still be doing something similar had Leo not come along. Although he had very few rules when it came to his lord, he asked him not to torment the nobles for any longer. As being his retainer, he was supposed to somewhat behave. So, that put the end to that, and he mostly worked in brothels for a night, should he need to get his urges out.

So why did he decide to, instead, look towards the one place he shouldn’t have?

Xander was a tall, handsome man. He was strong, powerful, and kind. He cared about people, his siblings, and the citizens of Nohr. And it was all so incredibly attractive.

There was always underlying flirting coming from Niles’s end. Every time they met. And at first, Xander started to go red, and get, at least, a little flustered. But as time went on, they were met with smiles. And if anything could take Niles’s heart away, it was that damn smile. He smiled softly, like whatever Niles did from here on out was just… acceptable.

That what he did was fine.

And every time he saw his smile, it made him wonder if his decision to protect his heart from love was the right choice.

He remembered how important it was when someone commented on Xander being the crown prince. And Niles shot immediately down to reality. That’s right. Xander was royalty. Niles was an outlaw, an orphan, someone who was cast aside by society and made his own enjoyment because of that fact.

There was no way that a prince would ever want someone like him.

Never.

It wasn’t even a possibility.

Except for one night. When they were alone. The flirting got heavier, and Niles went too far. Way too far. Because Xander started to respond. And they got closer. Niles’s breathing got heavy as he felt the prince’s lips on his own.

And then it was a whirlwind.

The next thing he knew, it was the middle of the night, based on the giant windows in Xander’s room. His clothes were scattered on the floor. Xander’s own were placed on the chair. He looked from the window to the person in the bed next to him.

And he really screwed up now.

Because he wondered if what he was feeling for Xander was something he was going to regret in the coming months. Their months of flirting, talking, getting to know one another in a basic format (nothing serious yet)

“…Shit.” He whispered.


	2. The Listening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Niles has to pretend what happened last night didn't make things worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> People continued to be interested in this fic where I play with Niles's heart. So I'm definitely going to continue it to the end. I have an idea of the end, but I don't want to spoil anything.

Chapter Text  
He tried to escape before Xander woke up. Niles not wanting to have to deal with talking to him about the previous night. He wants to pretend it didn’t happen.

But as he was getting dressed, the Crown Prince woke up, and looked directly at Niles with a soft smile. And said “Good morning”.

Which made him pause.

Xander was talking to him like a normal person. Maybe he wanted to forget too.

“Morning.” Niles responded, pulling on his boots. If he stopped, he’s going to think about other things. Like how nice it would be to get back into Xander’s bed. How nice it would be to cuddle and stay with him.

How nice it would be to be in love.

The prince climbed out of bed and moved to grab his clothes, allowing Niles to continue to look at him. His naked body, his abs, his ass, every part of him. He tried not to look, but the way Xander moved through the room effortlessly made it hard to.

And here’s Niles, panicking as he tries not to forget anything that could pin the two of them together. His cape, his shirt, every last bit and piece. His heart is racing for the first time in what seems like an eternity.

“…Niles.”

Xander’s right in front of him, and he nearly jumped.

“You don’t have to worry. I will not tell anyone, if that’s what you’re scared about.”

It’s no longer as soft as he previously was. When really, Niles should be telling Xander that. Instead, Xander looked like he’s been insulted by Niles’s actions. And he should be thankful, that Xander is insulted, because it meant he could let all these feelings die.

Instead, all he felt was guilt.

And it burned, like glass broken in his throat and chest.

“A… ah, I have training to get to is all.” It wasn’t a complete lie. “I don’t want to be late.”

He was nervous.

When was he ever nervous?

Xander paused for a moment, and made Niles think he was going to get in trouble. Before his face turned into a small smile. “Alright. Then perhaps we can do this again soon.”

Soon.

Niles paused and bit his lip slightly.

“…Yeah. Sure. Soon.” Buttoning up his cape as he moved to stand up. “I’m available.”

He turned to move to the door, leaving Xander standing there alone. The glass burned. His body aches as he tried to quickly leave the room. “…Thank you, Xander.” He said at the door, unable to look back. “For a wonderful night…”

He barely felt like himself.

“…You as well.”

The voice from Xander sounded detached. Like he didn’t believe a word Niles said. And all Niles wished was that he could turn around and tell him everything he felt.

It’s rushed.

It’ll feel forced, even if all of his feelings are true.

It’ll sound like he’s only latching onto Xander for his crown.

He moved to leave the room quietly, shutting the door tightly behind him.

He’s heard all his life that he wasn’t good enough to be loved. That someone would always find someone better. A destitute, a whore, good for nothing.

Not worthy of these feelings.

As he left the room and walked down the hallway, he tried to think of other things. Anything else. Killing someone with his weapons, hurting someone else. Teasing and tormenting people.

Then he made the mistake of turning around to look back where he came. And seeing Xander quietly leaving his room.

And he knew he made a mistake. From the first words he spoke to Xander all that time ago, to the last words today.

He let himself go, and moved into the nearest room, shutting the door tightly.

He wanted no one to see him cry.


End file.
